Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
