i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
A+ Viking dick
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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