The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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