i think my mom watched the whole time
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
