I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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