He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
