dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
