so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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