So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
