There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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