Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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