You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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