there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
