Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
