I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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