I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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