just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
