i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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