theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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