My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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