Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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