walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
What a dumb baby whore.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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