i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
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