Non-Jews are for practice
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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