Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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