I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
