Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
