At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
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Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize