# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
