i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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