Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
