I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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