I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize