I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
