fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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