Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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