i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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