she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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