i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
