Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
