weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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