Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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