Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Barsexuality is the new black.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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