Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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