Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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