Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
