Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
