Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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