How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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