Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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