out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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