Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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