im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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