Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
