are you still at the devil's house?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
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Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
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Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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