just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
