I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
