Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
This is the high leading the old right now
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
