You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
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Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
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I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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