she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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