how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
